It took me a few days to write this because I've been talking down to myself and letting myself worry and blow things out of proportion. Don't be like that. Don't worry and blow things out of proportion. Don't talk down to yourself because everything will prove you wrong in its own time.
So, before I get into the do's and dont's about yourself, which it's really up to you anyway, I'm going to share my story. Some of the parts in this story are grim and others are not so grim. I don't want pity, but please hear me out as I tell my full life story in a nutshell:
I was born in Raleigh, NC at 7:57 am on May 7, 1987. Ever since I can remember, I have not had a father figure in my life. My biological father was a drug addict which is why I never knew him. My mother did not want me around that and fought the court system very hard to keep him away from me even when he wanted visitation. The only reason he wanted to fight for visitation rights in the first place was to make my mother mad. It's all documented in court files and stacks of detailed journals my mother kept throughout the entire process.
Eventually, he gave up wanting to have anything to do with me or my mother, and my mother eventually started dating my current adopted father. He adopted me when I was 2 years old. From what I remember, everything was great until they were married and had my brother. Things fell apart and my adoptive father became verbally and physically abusive toward me and my brother. I don't remember a whole lot during this time except for him calling me a fat pig and choke-shaking my brother. I do remember wanting to be a singer and dancer when I was younger. I loved to sing but never really had the confidence even at a young age to actually sing in front of people. Since then, I've never really wanted to have much to do with him. Eventually, my mother divorced him, and we fast forward to my teenage years. When I was around 13, my mother, my brother, and I moved to Durham, NC where I found my love of dance through classes at school. Mrs. Ledbetter, my dance teacher thought that I should take professional dance classes and I really would have gone, but I had a string of mishaps and allowed them to get in my way. For starters, and here's where it gets grim, my mother was just starting to date a man from Roxboro, NC, Jon who was disgusting in his own way.
At 13, I was subjected to things that no minor should ever have to suffer. Unfortunately, it still haunts me to this day, and I try to stuff those memories way back in the back of my subconscious to where they never see the light of day. I was humiliated and I still feel as though I am stuck at 13 and that I will forever be stuck at 13. It's like time stopped for me. Everyone else passed me by and grew up while I'm stuck to deal with a morbid past on my own because I'm the only who can fix it. During my high school years, I wasn't much involved with the favorable crowd. I had friends and a lot of them were good friends, but I also had friends who I should have stayed away from. I dabbled here and there with things I shouldn't. Things teens get grounded for and get whippings for. I never really understood how my actions affected my mother until I got older and moved out of the house. That's when I really got involved with undesirable situations. I was involved with drugs, binge drinking, and just the wrong people in general. It led to me moving out of Roxboro and moving to Greenville, NC where I ended up in an abusive relationship with my then fiance. I had the sense to leave that behind though. So, I'm glad that I had the nerve to stand up for myself. Everyone should stand up for themselves. You are worth it, regardless of what someone else thinks. Their opinion is invalid. It's what you think of yourself.
Now, I am married to a good man, and we have a beautiful little girl and now live in his grandparents house that was left to him. No, our life isn't perfect. We have issues with people who are not in our family, and we do have our differences from time to time. But, nothing anywhere close to the altercations with my ex-fiance.
Since we have been married and our daughter has been born, I have heard all sorts of nonsense come back through the grapevine to me. I've heard "the only reason Josh and Kristine got married is because Kristine is pregnant." I've heard "they better make sure that house is kept up or they'll be out of there," "I don't ever see that baby outside. It never sees sunlight," and people have told me that his family members don't like me. I'm at a point where I don't care who has said what, when, where, how, or why it was said. It doesn't matter. They don't know the truth, and it's none of their business to find out what the truth is unless I or my husband tells them personally. I don't have very many friends and this is the reason why. I just cut the chord loose because it wasn't helpful for me. Always cut the cord when harmful or potentially damaging people enter your life and try to cause chaos.
So, seeing that I had an opportunity to go back to school to finish out for my bachelor's in Accounting, I seized the opportunity, and I am a little over halfway finished. Yay! During this time, I also found my love for creating soaps that I loved and wanted to share them with other people. That is how Earth N Moon was started almost a year ago. It will be a year come this September!
Since then, I have had so many learning experiences. It has really helped me to grow a tougher skin and realize what is more important. The petty words and actions people put out about you or your business should actually be flattering instead of an insult. When people are jealous, especially in a business setting, it means they find you threatening and that your products are actually tough competition. So, if you find yourself in a situation where there may be some who downplay or talk badly about you, just smile and know that you are something to talk about. Don't stoop to their level and hand it back to them. That's what they want. The best thing to do is go your own way and ignore what they say. They make their selves look bad by talking badly about others. Just for clarification, let's not confuse purposefully deceitful down talking someone or their business with them simply saying they don't like your products. There is a difference. If someone has never purchased or tried your products and they say that your products are not good products, that's deceitful and dishonest behavior because they've never tried the products to form an opinion. So, don't automatically assume that they are being deceitful if they simply don't like your products. There may be a reason. Not everyone is going to like you or your stuff. But, you shouldn't try to make everyone like you or your stuff either. They are allowed to have their own opinions, just like you are allowed to have your opinions.
So, now that you know my life story, I hope you find some sort of strength within yourself to tell yourself you can do this. Don't give up if a bump or massive hole forms in your path. Find a way around it. Be creative. Be an inspiration to others as I hope to be an inspiration to you right now.
Just a few tips that I think might help along the way of your journey:
If you are just starting out in your homemade craft business like I am, you know it's hard to build up your clientele with all of the competition currently out there. Some of your competition has been selling theirs for years and has thousands of good reviews. The important things to remember when you feel the jealousy sink in and try to compare your business with theirs:
- Don't compare. Just don't do it. Your items are unique and between the competition and you, everyone's products are different.
- Stay true to yourself. Don't get discouraged when it appears that the competition is taking away sales. I'll discuss what to do further down in the post.
- Stay positive. Cut the negativity by switching your attitude into a positive outlook. Turn browsing the competition to your advantage. Again, I'll discuss what to do further down the post.
I'm just now starting to understand why a lot of people do not own their own business aside from the start up costs and the responsibility. You trying to sell your ideas and your hard work to people especially if you hand make your products. If you have a Facebook page for your business, you'll know that likes and reviews are important. However, you can't make people like or review your products. They'll come with time. Sometimes, it's to whom you are reaching, not that people don't like your products. So, don't beat yourself up, you're just not reaching the right crowd. Plus, some people are fickle. They'll like your page and someone might say something about your products in a negative light that has never tried them, or you might have a particular viewpoint on a matter and they'll stop following you. It's okay. That's their right. Don't let it discourage you. If I were you, I wouldn't even look at the likes. It's not representative of what your products are about or your company, or even you as a representative of your company. Just breathe, relax, and let it roll off. Did you know some very successful companies don't have that many likes on their pages? Heck, some don't even have Facebook pages!
All in all, it's what's best for you and your business.
You got this, kid! You can do this! It's not a crazy idea, and yes, it will work if you believe and try hard enough. Your ideas are important. You are important. Make yourself known. Make your business known. Celebrate! This is a time of rejoice because you've found something you're good at. You've found something that you feel free and comfortable on which to earning a living. Wait, you're still worried and worried about everyone else? Okay, let's stop again.
- Don't even think about the competition, at least not right now.
- Don't worry about everyone else.
- Turn that frown upside down. You've got a lot to live for, even if it's just you. You mean a lot, and you were born for a reason. Seek out your purpose. Travel, try different things, get out there and go!
- Don't stay in one spot. Keeping moving your business as far as you want it to go. Your business is your canvas, and you are the painter. You have the power to do what you want, when you want it, and how you want to do it.
- Money is just a stepping stone. Yes, it takes money to make money, but if you really want to start your project, you'll find a way even if it is slowly saving up to start a project. You'll get there.
- Be patient. Rome wasn't built in a day as they say! Don't get burned out by the advice of others or your work pace. Slow and steady wins the race. Wait, there is no race! Life is not a race. Your business will come to fruition with patience, knowledge, the application of that knowledge, proper resources, and proper timing. It'll come, trust me.
The important thing to remember is that YOU shape your future regardless of others.
From my heart to yours,
From one person to another,
Kristine
